Pregnancy Loss
Compassionate Support for Pregnancy Loss: Healing Hearts in Seattle
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You woke up today hoping it was all a dream, but quickly realize it’s reality. You miscarried. You’re no stranger to loss, but this is different. People don’t talk about death, let alone pregnancy loss. Society, your family, your social circle, they all have their own ideas about how you should act or feel. They tell you “You’re so strong” but you don’t want to be strong, you don’t feel strong, you don’t feel resilient. You feel destroyed.
You’ve been poked, prodded, and scanned. You’re feeling raw and exposed. You’re grieving what you feel is the betrayal of your body. Your partner doesn’t know how to support you. You don’t feel connected to your partner, nor do you have any interest in sex. Your friends are kind, but you don’t need more toxic positivity. You feel alone, afraid, and stuck. You tend to isolate and would rather just stay at home wrapped up in a blanket, away from the world. There’s not a lot of joy felt in your day-to-day life. People try to be helpful, but they say stupid stuff. You often end up educating people which not only feels like a chore but ends up putting you back in a despair spiral. You avoid babies and families. When you see a pregnant person or a baby you feel a deep pain, even anger sometimes.
You’re terrified to try to get pregnant again. You don’t want to get your hopes up, you want to guard your heart. The stress of worrying a pregnancy might end at any time is enormous. The thought of even going into an OB office is triggering. You’re bracing yourself for the worst.
I help birthing people and parents process grief related to pregnancy loss, including TFMR experiences. I also help clients who’ve previously experienced loss manage fear, anxieties, and triggers planning and/or carrying other pregnancies. As a therapist working with pregnancy loss, I meet clients where you are, never pushing you to an emotional place you aren’t ready to be. Together we will lean into curiosity to discover your embodied truth, internal resources, and hope. If you’re coping with the emotional pain of pregnancy loss, reach out today and have an ally walk with you during this dark time.
I’m Terrified to Try to Carry Another Pregnancy
Of course you are. It’s terrifying to be vulnerable and open yourself up to the possibility of another loss. This is a path I help many clients down. Managing stress, anxiety and anticipation during a subsequent pregnancy after loss is challenging. Through concrete strategies, I can help you navigate the complicated emotions life after loss brings.
You don’t have to grieve alone on your journey of pregnancy loss. Support is one click away, schedule your free consultation.
Types of Pregnancy Loss Therapy Can Support
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Chemical Pregnancy
Recurrent miscarriage
Termination for Medical Reasons
Missed miscarriage
Ectopic Pregnancy
Surrogate loss
Stillbirth
Elective Abortion
Questions About Therapy for Pregnancy Loss in Seattle
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People experiencing pregnancy loss can feel shock and be in denial. Initially, there’s a sense of numbness and detachment from reality. It’s normal to feel anger, sadness, isolation, and irritation. Grief and loss cannot be rushed and if it’s suppressed, it will come out in other ways.
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YES. You are 100% still a parent if you lost your baby at any stage.
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This isn’t always a helpful way to think of grief related to pregnancy loss. It can be more helpful to think about your relationship to your loss. That is what primarily changes over time. As time goes on, the pain remains, however people often site they’re able to remember more of the positive memories associated with their baby and pregnancy. Therapy is a safe space where I can walk along side you, advocate and witness your pain.
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There exists a common misconception that feelings of grief related to pregnancy loss are directly correlated with the length of gestation. This just isn’t true and leads to minimization of peoples’ loss experiences. No matter the stage of pregnancy or length of gestation, your feelings and loss are valid.
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They are essentially the same thing. A miscarriage happens when the fetus spontaneously aborts, typically because it wasn’t able to develop properly. I use the term pregnancy loss to encompass any loss throughout the perinatal period, including stillbirths, termination for medical reasons, and infant loss.
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1 in 4 pregnancies will end in loss. That means someone in your life has most likely experience this kind of loss. Just because it’s common or normal doesn’t mean it’s easy. It does mean that you aren’t alone and there are many other people out there who can help support you through this challenging time.
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Processing your loss may look different than other people. Firstly, lets get you to a physically safe space, one where you can be authentically you. Let’s get you around safe people. Let’s make sure you’re eating, drinking and sleeping. Initially, these basic tasks are going to be your self care. Be patient and take each step moving forward on your own time. Get support. Talk about your baby with safe people. Build memories and honor them. You now will work on forming a new bond with your baby even though they aren’t here. You are still and forever will be connected to them as you are their parent.
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It’s important to have a solid relationship with your care provider, whether that is with your Primary Care Doctor, OBGYN or Fertility Doctor. This relationship will help ensure you’re treated in a trauma informed manner, your questions are answered, and your team can collaborate as appropriate. We know peer support can be an amazing healer after such a loss as it’s a very specific kind of loss. An organization that does great work and that I’m involved with is Return to Zero: Hope. They provide support and education to families and providers. I encourage other self care activities that focus on the body feeling good such as massage, acupuncture, floating, etc.
Want to learn more about Chelsea? Explore other specialties: Grief, Infertility, Medical Trauma, Health Issues, and Menopause.