Infertility Therapist in Seattle
Empower Yourself: Navigate Infertility with a Seattle Therapist
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All you’ve ever wanted is to be a parent. You didn’t sign up for this emotional rollercoaster which you now ride. You’ve tried to get pregnant and get mad that it seems like it’s so easy for other people. You feel angry, sad, exhausted. You experience decision fatigue and monitor all the possible things that can go wrong. You don’t trust your body anymore and can’t fathom a future when you do. You can get stressed and anxious in doctor offices of any kind. It’s hard to be around others and put on a happy face. It’s hard to work. Sometimes you want to eat all the food and sometimes can go a whole day without eating anything. Your body feels heavy and old activities don’t bring you joy.
This is disappointment like you’ve never experienced before. You’re about to go back to the doctor for another round of IVF. You wonder how you’re supposed to move forward when you’re feeling this anxious and stressed. You ask yourself, ‘what if it doesn’t work? What if something goes wrong?’ These thoughts consume your mind. You spiral into the scariness of uncertainty and become paralyzed with decision fatigue. You want a baby so badly and you know the stress of this process isn’t helping the anxiety you’re feeling. You’re tired of doing nightly internet searches, losing sleep, and feeling stress consume your body.
This infertility journey has been hard on your relationships. You and your partner fight more, you don’t have much fun together anymore, and sex is non-existent. Your whole focus has been on getting pregnant and having a baby. You don’t see your friends as often as you’d like. Many of them just don’t understand what you’re going through, and it takes a lot of energy to update people each time you see them. You’d rather just avoid seeing people. The hormones make you do and say things you wouldn’t normally. There’s not a lot of joy felt in your day-to-day life because you feel so isolated. People try to be helpful, but they say stupid shit. You avoid babies and families. When you see a pregnant person or a baby you feel a deep pain, even anger sometimes.
I help birthing people and parents dealing with infertility and third-party reproduction process grief, depression, anxiety, numbness, and pain that accompany this process. I help birthing people deal with the psychological and physical stress of fertility decisions and treatments. I can help you cultivate self-compassion, acceptance, and connection. Together we will build back a life worth living. If you’re dealing with infertility in Seattle, stop suffering in silence and reach out today for a consultation.
Signs It’s Time to Start Therapy for Infertility in Seattle
You or your partner are experiencing infertility currently or have in the past
You’re currently undergoing fertility treatments of any kind
You’re navigating family planning issues
You feel alone
You’re isolating
You get angry easily and don’t know why
You avoid babies and families
Your body is experiencing changes
You don’t feel connected to your partner
You’re anxious
You’re depressed
You’re pregnant and terrified of loosing the pregnancy
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Questions about Therapy for Infertility in Seattle
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Studies show that the mental and emotional impacts of women dealing with infertility are similar to the depression and anxiety patients with cancer, HIV, and heart disease experience. Even though in a heterosexual relationship, either partners could potentially have a fertility issue, the woman is often blamed and seen automatically as the ‘problem.’ Women (or the gestational partner) are the ones that also have to experience all of the medical treatments, procedures and exams when dealing with third party reproduction. Relationships can be impacted. Finances can be strained. It can bring a variety of emotions including despair, anger, and anxiety.
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Depression is common among people struggling with infertility. Infertility deals with a complex intersection of experiences including your relationship to your body, to your partner, your family. It relates to your hopes, dreams and sense of fairness. Dealing with infertility not only impacts your relationship to yourself, your loved ones and the world around you, but you may end up dealing with the medical community frequently which comes with it’s own set of challenges.
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Anger is a normal response to a perceived injustice. When you see people getting pregnant and carrying pregnancies to full term while you aren’t, you react to that injustice. It’s completely unfair that you haven’t been able to get pregnant, stay pregnant and have a baby. It’s normal to experience anger when you see pregnant people or people with children.
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Yes. The entire process of coping with infertility is a form of complex trauma. Remember, your nervous system is additive, meaning that experiences build and impact you cumulatively. The cyclical nature of hope and disappointment can be considered traumatic.
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When infertility becomes a challenge regardless of why, in heterosexual relationships the woman or person with a uterus is often the one blamed. Women in this society already deal with judgement, shame, and unwanted comments related to our bodies. Many clients come to me when dealing with infertility only to have their self esteem be as low as it’s ever been. This is something we can tackle in therapy.
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It’s extremely important to get additional support when coping with infertility, whether that is through loved ones or professional support. There are great organization like Resolve, Postpartum Support International and American Association for Reproductive Medicine and can be resources for patients and families. Basic self care such as good sleep, eating regularly, movement, stress reduction, and socializing are all great foundations for coping. The more psychological flexibility you can develop during uncertainty, the more you’ll be able to adapt to whatever challenges come your way. You can start building such flexibility by starting with a mindfulness or meditation practice.
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Relationship health is addressed in my work with individuals and families. I will work with a family coping with infertility for that specific issue. I refer out for general ongoing couples therapy. I have fantastic colleagues that provide ongoing couples therapy services for general relationship health.
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Yes. Of course any decisions you make moving forward are 100% yours. It’s common for me to help clients clarify their values, reflect on their journeys, and identify risk associated with certain decisions. Risk is present in everything you do and it can be helpful to expand the conversation to include mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational well-being to the conversation, not just medical risk/benefits.
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We know people dealing with infertility are susceptible to higher rates of depression and anxiety. If high levels of stress are not addressed, other mental health issues can arise such as depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, posttraumaticstress disorder and others. This is why it’s helpful to address the stress head on, especially if you’re navigating infertility with an existing or previous mental health diagnosis or challenge.
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When appropriate, I do offer treatment companion services. This is an option when you experience of a lot of anxiety related to procedures or interaction with the medical community. This may happen if you have a history of trauma and are working hard to build safety. Another example may be if you experience a miscarriage or medical complication. Reach out to discuss this service further if interested.
If you’re ready to take back your mental health and wellbeing in the midst of your infertility journey, reach out and schedule a free consultation today.
Want to learn more about Chelsea? Explore other specialties: Grief, Medical Trauma, Pregnancy Loss, Health Issues, and Menopause.