Facing the Due Date After Pregnancy Loss: Practical Steps from Grief Counseling in Seattle
Image from Unsplash by Lina Trochez 1/28/25
Pregnancy loss is devastating no matter what way you experienced your loss. Pregnancy loss is an encompassing term I use to include miscarriage, missed miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, blighted ovum, molar pregnancy, infertility, stillbirth, infant death, TFMR, and abortion. Facing the due date, holidays, or anniversaries can increase grief and loss symptoms. Today, I’ll address some practical strategies to use to plan the day of the due date, acknowledge your experience, loss and honor your baby.
Common Grief Experiences After Pregnancy Loss
· It’s normal to face a wide variety of emotions, including but not limited to grief, anger, sadness, anxiety, irritability. You could feel numb.
· You might also feel guilt, shame, or self-judgement.
· Rumination or intrusive thoughts around events.
· Difficulty concentrating or focusing on tasks.
· Low energy.
· Difficulty feeling joy or looking forward to things.
· Dissociation. Might not feel like it’s real.
· Dread around doctor visits.
· Difficulty socializing.
· Avoidance of babies, pregnant people, etc.
· Struggle sleeping or sleeping too much.
Such experiences might increase as you face a significant date, holiday, or anniversary. Acknowledge your emotions related to the due date or other important milestones.
Coping with Milestone Days: Strategies Offered by Grief Counseling in Seattle
Image from Unsplash by Mor Shani 1/28/25
Whether you haven’t experienced the due date yet, you’ve gone through it once or twenty times, it will come up again. For many people experiencing pregnancy loss, this is a day some people dread or fear how they’ll cope. It can be helpful to plan for the day of while also allowing yourself flexibility.
Here are some practical tips to help you navigate the day. Take what you find helpful or comforting and leave what you don’t. Remember, there is no wrong way to grieve, and you want to give yourself the opportunity to honor your experience.
1. If you are able, take time off work.
2. Decide if you want to be alone or around people. If you want to be around people, do you want to have an intimate contact, one on one, or just physically be around others?
3. Do something that feels good in your body.
4. Identify a ritual or ceremony that fits into your belief system that can acknowledge and celebrate your pregnancy/baby.
5. Spend time with important objects such as a footprint, ashes, baby clothes, art or photographs from your baby.
6. Write a letter to your baby.
7. Scatter the ashes.
8. Engage in a loving kindness meditation.
9. Engage in a favorite activity.
Image from Unsplash by Jan Huber 1/28/25
10. Get outside into nature.
Supporting the Bereaved
I’ll expand on supporting the bereaved in another blog, but special dates, holidays, and anniversaries can be even more challenging for those experiencing loss. Let your loved ones know you are thinking of them and acknowledge their loss. Offer to be a listening ear, leave a small gift, card, or donation to a meaningful cause. Be mindful of how they want to face the day, even if that means staying to themselves. Ask permission while also offering care.
About the Author: Seattle Washington Therapist Chelsea Kramer LMFT
Chelsea Kramer is a Seattle Therapist who works with individual and families facing grief, anxiety and trauma, with special focus on reproductive and medical mental health. Schedule a free consultation below!
Learn more about Chelsea’s specialties: grief, anxiety, infertility, pregnancy loss, chronic illness, menopause, medical trauma
Learn more about Chelsea
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