How to Build a Mindfulness Practice from a Seattle Anxiety Therapist
It’s easy to get overwhelmed by discussions of mindfulness and meditation. In my experience, people have certain images that come to mind when thinking about such practices. These images usually entail a tranquil person sitting crossed legged on a pillow on the floor, with their eyes closed chanting, humming, or being silent. This person is in a calm, beautiful setting with no distractions. If you have access to this kind of space or time, awesome! I find the average person doesn’t. Today I’m going to address tangible ways to start a mindfulness practice, no matter who you are or what time you have. If I had to give one blanket piece of advice for everyone in the world that would strengthen their mental health, it would be to build a mindfulness practice.
These are broad, general guidelines, and your individual needs may vary. I don’t encourage people to jump into mindfulness without support if you’re currently in an abusive or high stress situation. If you’ve experienced trauma that hasn’t been dealt with, you may need to build your ability to sit with discomfort before building these skills. Please keep your needs in mind before moving forward. Please consult your own therapist for individual treatment concerns.
Image from Pexels by Tubarones
What is Mindfulness?
There are three main components of mindfulness:
Awareness:
This can be awareness of your surroundings, where you are in space, your internal life (physical sensations, thoughts, emotions, memories) or an image in your mind.
In the Present Moment:
When you’re trying aware in the moment, it’s literally impossible to have your mind to elsewhere. Generally, people who experience anxiety often get stuck in thinking about the future, and people who primarily struggle with depression typically get stuck in the past. Life becomes more manageable and enjoyable when you’re able to bring yourself back to the present moment.
Without Judgement:
When you make a mistake, or forget something, how do you speak to yourself either internally or out loud? In general, what is the tone and feeling of your relationship to yourself? What if you observed yourself solely to describe what was happening, rather than judging, conclude or deduce specific things about yourself?
All parts of mindfulness are challenging, however for many people the most challenging aspect is the ‘without judgement’ piece. How many times have you tried to focus on something only to realize you’d lost focus and then been upset or unkind to yourself? “Oh no, I didn’t remember this” or “Crap, I totally spaced.” You can be your own worst critic.
I think of the practice of mindfulness as gently turning the chin of a child back to what they need to focus on. You don’t jerk their arm or yell at them to return to focus, but you gently guide them back. This can happen 1,000 times, 100 tines, or 10 times. The action of returning, re-directing is the important part.
How Can Mindfulness Help with Anxiety?
As said earlier, people who struggle with anxiety tend to be pre-occupied with what could happen in the future. The fear of the unknown can be overwhelming, especially when you are a person who likes to be informed, have a plan, and know what to expect. The reality is as humans, we do need plans, and we also need flexibility. Too flexible and we’re like Jello, too rigid and we’re like concrete. It’s ultimately more helpful to be rooted in the present with the ability to bend and adapt as needed, like trees on a windy day.
Tips Before Starting a Mindfulness Practice
Start Today!
You don’t need an hour of your time to start a mindfulness practice. All you need is your mind and the will to start. Can you make a commitment to check in at least once a day as you explore building a mindfulness practice? Meditation is a form of mindfulness, but mindfulness can take many forms other than meditation. If meditation specifically is of interest to you, there are vast free resources on the internet to help you on that journey.
Anytime, Anywhere
You can practice mindfulness at any time of the day! Some people prefer to check in during different parts of the day, others enjoy a focused time in the morning or at a night.
Start Small and Build
Your first mindfulness practice can be ten seconds long. The fact that you’re reading this means you have the time. It can be as short as it needs to. Once you get used to the idea and practice, you can start to extend the time and try new ways of increasing your awareness, in the present moment, without judgement.
Process is the Outcome
There are many documented benefits of mindfulness, and don’t go into building a practice in order to get those benefits only. The outcome of a practice is the dedication to the process. Your brain is ever changing and constantly getting new stimuli thrown at it. There’s no such thing as ‘arrival’ in terms of a mindfulness practice. You never get to ‘the top of the hill’ and think alright I’ve completed it. The commitment to the process is the practice.
Explore Different Kinds
There are so many ways you can practice mindfulness. I encourage you to get playful, curious and explore different ways of building your practice. The act of exploration of yourself, and the world around you can be done in a mindful way. Some people enjoy stillness, where others enjoy movement in relation to mindfulness.
Mindful versus Mindless
You can apply mindfulness principles to any activity, or you can engage in activities mindlessly. For example: Brushing your teeth. You can do it and not really think twice about it, maybe your mind is consumed with meetings for the day or what you’re going to have for dinner. A mindful practice of brushing your teeth would be exploring how the bristles feel on your gums, your teeth, how the brush feels in your hand. You’d be curious about the different areas of your mouth, your teeth, and the order you’re moving your hand. You might find yourself saying, huh, I never noticed that….
Image from Unsplash by Levi Xu
How to Build a Mindfulness Practice
1. Start today, all you need is thirty seconds.
2. Bring awareness to your five senses: sight, sound, smell, touch, taste.
If you have no idea where to start. Take 30 seconds to a minute and go through your five senses—sight, sound, smell, touch, taste. Simply bringing awareness to what you see, hear, smell, touch, and taste is a great place to start building mindfulness. Chances are you’re probably not going to judge these observations because they’re a neutral thing to observe. Once you get used to that, go a little deeper into one of those senses.
3. Observe an object without judgement.
Another helpful practice is to take an object (like a pen or cup) and describe it, rather than judging it. Rather than describing it as your favorite pen, or a good pen, can you only describe what you can sense instead of giving it a story or making determinations of the object. Again, this is a way to practice with more neutral content before moving into more challenging content.
4. Build ‘observable self’ to defuse from inner content.
When you practice mindfulness, you’re building your ‘observable self’ that creates space between you and your experiences, so you have more choice in how you respond (rather than reacting). This is called defusion.
5. Mindfully observe your bodily sensations.
Once you’ve worked on engaging with more neutral content, move on to your bodily sensations. You can do this, observing your entire body at once to see what comes up, or you can do this on a more granular scale. Just notice without judging.
6. Mindfully observe your emotions.
Next, move on to your emotions. What emotions do you feel? Can you notice how it shows up in your body? Did the emotion just change? What happens when you watch it for a period?
7. Mindfully observe your thoughts.
Next, for many people thoughts are the most challenging. Can you notice what thoughts are coming up for you without judgement? Without evaluating, assessing or narrating. Notice the distinction between what is a thought, an emotion or a physical sensation.
8. Explore what works for you:
(movement, stillness, incorporating mindfulness into existing activities or creating separate ones, practice wide and pinpointed focus, play!)
Image from Pexels
Schedule with a Seattle Anxiety Therapist Today
Does this interest you? Do you want to go deeper? Would you like to be a more calm, confident, and decisive person? I love working with clients who are motivated to take the next step in building a deeper relationship with themselves. If you’re struggling, let’s start from where you are and go from there. Do not hesitate to schedule a free consultation with me.
Learn more about Chelsea’s specialties: grief, anxiety, infertility, pregnancy loss, chronic illness, menopause, medical trauma
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