Understanding Anxiety after Pregnancy Loss from a Seattle Certified Perinatal Mental Health Therapist

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Experiencing the loss of a desired pregnancy is devastating. A wide array of emotions flood into your body and mind as you process the loss of what could have been. For those who decide to try to conceive again, the impact of the loss weighs heavily. Having been exposed to the potential for loss, subsequent conception attempts and pregnancies carry a specific kind of anxiety and anticipation. The way you discovered the loss can lead to avoidance of certain moments, such as ultrasounds, blood tests, doctor appointments or pregnancy tests. This blog post can help you understand that you aren’t alone and ways to manage anxiety after pregnancy loss.

What Does Anxiety Look Like After Pregnancy Loss?

It’s normal to feel a wide array of feelings after pregnancy loss of any kind. Anxiety is often an emotion that comes up during this time. Anxiety after pregnancy loss can arise at any time. For many people anxiety centers around reproductive health, fertility, relationships, interactions with the medical system, and general health concerns. Anxiety can also present itself through obsessive behaviors, phobias, or social anxiety. The impacts of trauma can also lead to anxiety. All these different ways anxiety can present itself can be compounded after multiple losses. It’s beneficial to explore exactly what you’re feeling and experiencing with a professional to best identify how to move forward.

Anxiety Can Point to Your Values

Pain points to things you care about. You don’t feel deeply about things that aren’t important to you. If you didn’t care about getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term, you probably wouldn’t stress or worry about it at all. In this way, pain and anxiety point you to areas of life you care about and values you hold.

It can be a helpful to reflect on the values you hold related to wanting a child. Values are actions or verbs. What verbs are important to you as you navigate this journey? Having a clear view and understanding of such values can keep you rooted in yourself as you face the tumultuous waters of loss.

Postpartum Anxiety

For many it’s not automatically obvious, but the time after pregnancy loss is considered a postpartum state. Physical and psychological changes that occur postpartum don’t only happen after births at full term. The body’s response to the drop in hormones and the variety of other subsequent changes are very real and impactful. The physiological changes, your life challenges, support systems, other health conditions and mental health history all impact the risk of postpartum anxiety. Anxiety can increase any time during the perinatal period which is from conception to one year postpartum. For some people, understanding the physiological implications of carrying and losing a pregnancy can open the door for more kindness and compassion.

How to Cope with Anxiety After Pregnancy Loss

·      Process the grief and loss. Check out this blog post: A Comprehensive Guide to Grief Counseling

·      Get support through individual therapy or support groups.

·      Process trauma related to the loss. Unprocessed trauma can lead to increased levels of anxiety.

·      Assess if your mental health can handle continuing trying to conceive. It’s an emotional rollercoaster!

·      Re-orient towards your values.

·      Re-orient towards your relationships.

·      Express how you’re feeling through movement, art, images, and more.

·      Build safety. Check out this blog: How to Build Safety When Coping with Medical Trauma During Your Fertility Journey

Image from Unsplash by Sean Stratton

 How to Stop Obsessing Over Getting Pregnant After Loss

·      Create a strategy: For example, decide you’ll try for two cycles and then take a month or two off intentionally for your mental health.

·      Identify the way you’re living your values out in other parts of your life.

·      Make a pie chart to identify the roles in hold in life.

·      Get back in touch with hobbies and activities that give you joy.

·      Invest in your relationships.

·      Build Mindfulness Skills.

·      Share with a Support Group.

·      Think about adding time and energy into causes you care about.

·      Be mindful of what content you’re ingesting and curate accordingly.

·      Reconnect with sensual body experiences (not sexual but what feels good in your body).

Managing Anxiety During a Subsequent Pregnancy

In my professional experience, one of the most nerve-wracking times for a birthing person is discovering that you’re pregnant after a loss and facing the anxiety around maintaining a pregnancy til’ term.

·      Anxiety is a natural response to something that concerns you. Acknowledge that your mind is looking out for you and the pregnancy, thank it for trying to protect you, and re-direct your awareness towards something you want to put your energy into.

·      Take one day or chunk at a time: Of course you must plan to some degree, but many clients will focus on getting through the day or to a specific milestone rather than focusing too far into the future.

·      Engage in self-soothing skills when facing appointments or tests. Check out this other blog post to help with that: How to Mentally Prepare for a Medical Appointment, Surgery, or Procedure

·      If you’re in a relationship, make time to share with one another your feelings, worries, and joys.

·      Explore making the pregnancy itself more enjoyable. Pregnancy is a magical time. In our culture we often think of pregnancy and babies simultaneously, but a pregnancy doesn’t automatically lead to a healthy baby. How can you celebrate the pregnancy?

Schedule with Your Seattle Anxiety Therapist

Anxiety after pregnancy loss can look different depending on the person and underlying contextual factors. You don’t have to face the grief, stress, and anxiety of loss alone. Get help from an experienced therapist in both areas of anxiety and perinatal mental health. For more personalized support, schedule a free consultation today.

Learn more about Chelsea’s specialties: grief, anxiety, infertility, pregnancy loss, chronic illness, menopause, medical trauma

Learn more about Chelsea

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