Healing From Traumatic Childbirth: Expert Guidance from a Seattle Perinatal Mental Health and Medical Trauma Therapist

**Trigger Warning** This blog addresses traumatic childbirth and symptoms of trauma.

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During this blog post, I will address parents as the gestational or non-gestational parent out of respect for queer, non-binary and transgender parents. I may also use the term ‘birthing person.’ I may have to use woman/mom or husband/dad if referencing specific research.

Going through pregnancy, delivery, and becoming a parent is a huge life event. It can become even more complicated if you’re dealing with infertility, third party reproduction, or other intentional forms of conception. For many people, this time is the most intimately they’ll be involved in the medical system in their entire life. Amidst the miracle and wonder during this time, it’s also one of tenderness and vulnerability. The intersectionality of identify and experience marginalized communities face during this time can be stifling. Whether it’s medical misogyny, racism, able-ism or anti-fatness, becoming a parent is unfortunately wrought with opportunities to experience oppression and stigma. Until ALL people and bodies can safely access the entire spectrum of reproductive care, equality will not exist.

Understanding the Impacts of Traumatic Childbirth on Mental Health

Traumatic childbirth can happen in a variety of ways and is highly subjective to each person’s unique experience. A birthing person as well as the non-gestational partner can experience trauma related to an interaction or event. These traumas can cause distressing emotions and lead to short- and long-term negative impacts on yourself and your family. Trauma can impact your mental and physical health and negatively impact the relationship between parents and baby. A traumatic birth also puts parents at higher risk for postpartum mood and anxiety disorders.

Trauma is Cumulative and Subjective

A traumatic birth experience doesn’t happen within a vacuum and can bring up past traumatic experiences. Many people have trauma related to their pelvic area, either related to insensitive medical providers, rape, sexual assault or cultural shame around genitals and menstruation. At times, people may not think of a birth experience as ‘traumatic’, but they feel ‘off’ and that something isn’t right. Experiences between medical providers, parents, and family can vary widely. A medical provider may think the birth went great, while the birthing partner feels overwhelmed, shutdown, and immobilized.

Your previous life experiences and ways of seeing the world may impact how you process the events and interactions of a birth experience. Factors during and after the birth may impact the experience of trauma. There exists a strong interaction between pain and negative emotions that lead to prediction of PTSD postpartum. When pain is intense, the mind can dissociate to cope. It’s not uncommon that I will speak with people that can’t remember large parts of their birth. In medically complicated or risky deliveries, parents may hear the medical team use scary and extreme language that leads to fear, panic, and isolation. The non-gestational parent may see and hear things that the other parent may not, leading to very different experiences of the birth.

Medical Mistreatment and Bias

According to the CDC, women of color, young women, women without health insurance, and fat women all face higher rates of mistreatment, reduced choices, and bias related to delivery. Many people report distress related to their relationship with the healthcare team.

Common Reports Include:

·      Not feeling like the care was specific to their needs

·      Not having situations or actions explained

·      Not being included in decisions

·      Being touched without permission

·      People entering the room without permission

·      People using impatient, abrupt, or disrespectful language

·      People may feel abandoned, rushed, or feel their autonomy was diminished in some way

·      The disregard for embodied knowledge of the pregnant person is not uncommon

Trauma Symptoms

After a birth, traumatic symptoms can be experienced by either or both parents, medical professionals, support staff or family.

Trauma Symptoms Can Include:

·   Avoidance of thoughts, feelings, conversations, places, or activities associated with the trauma. The symptom of avoidance is one of the strongest predictors linked to PTSD. You can see how this could be so damaging to new parents and a newborn baby. Avoiding care for yourself or your family is less than ideal and can contribute to more pain emotionally and physically.

·   Negative changes in your belief or mood such as self-blame

·   A diminished ability to experience positive emotions

·    Challenges in remembering part of all or the event

·   Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks

·   Negative expectations of yourself and others

·   Negative mental states

·   Lack of interest in previously enjoyable activities

·   Reckless or self-destructive behavior

·   Hypervigilance

·   Difficulty concentrating

·   Sleep issues

Parent/Baby Connection

A traumatic birth experience may impact the ability to breast/chest feed. High levels of cortisol can delay lactation. A complex and interactional relationship exists between hormones, mood, and lactation. I won’t go into the science here but know that all these parts impact one another. If you or your partner is also experiencing other trauma symptoms such as self-blame and negative emotions, it may be hard to feel connected to the baby which gets reinforced by hormones. People who lactate are more than feeding machines. Fed babies are best and whatever way that is done is great. If you experienced perinatal loss, it’s important to get help and make a plan regarding how to cope with lactation and milk production.

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Effective Strategies for Healing and Recovery

In the therapy, we commonly discuss trauma interventions in relationship to ‘top-down’ interventions and ‘bottom-up’ interventions. You’ll notice I discuss this in many of my blog posts. ‘Bottom-up’ interventions start in your body and ‘top-down’ interventions start in your mind. It’s important to access both because trauma inherently involves both your mind and body. I strongly recommend you reach out to a therapist if you’re experiencing any of the issues I discussed above, in the meantime, here are some strategies you can use today to start your path to healing.

Healing and Recovery:

·   Talk to your partner and listen to their experience.

·   For some if can be helpful to get medical records.

·   Create a birth timeline.

·   Write Your Birth Story

·   Journal what comes up for you when you think about the birth.

·   Create art of any form.

·   Write a letter to your baby.

·   Be aware of how you talk to yourself.

·   Look for the good—identify moments of connection with your baby or loved ones

·   Engage in things that feel good in your body: shower, heavy blankets, etc.

·   Identify challenges you’ve overcome in the past

·   Ask for support from people you trust

·   Externalize your experience using objects or art

·   Get out your anger and grief in a safe way, ie, yelling, writing, creating

 Healing from traumatic childbirth is important for you as an individual, your relationships, and family. Many clients seek my services after experiencing a less-than-ideal birth experience and decide they want to conceive again. I acknowledge not everyone has access to these resources, however this list can help you decide where you want to put your resources both in time and money.

Image from Unsplash

Planning for Another Pregnancy:

·   Build a Personalized Care Team: Doula, Lactation Consultant, OBGYN, Mid-wife, Maternal Medicine Doctor, Mental Health Therapist, Physical Therapist

·   Explore birthing location options

·   Process grief related to other delivery experiences

·   Create a birth plan, but be flexible

·   Decide who you want involved in the birth (family, friends, etc).

·   Have direct support for both the gestational and non-gestational parents during birth and delivery.

·   Secure childcare for birth and delivery

·   Build and practice self-soothing and grounding practice

Seeking Support: Finding the Right Trauma Therapist in Seattle

Seeing as many traumatic experiences come from interpersonal experiences, it’s important you find a provider that’s right for you and fits your unique needs. It’s helpful for you to identify what qualities are important for you to have in a therapist. It’s important for me to continue to fight for reproductive justice and provide anti-racist, fat-positive, feminist care as reproductive justice is at the core of the fight for equality. Here are some questions you can ask your potential provider.

Questions for a Trauma Therapist in Seattle:

·   What experience do you have regarding BLANK clients? (Could be whatever is important to you).

·   How do you help people heal from traumatic childbirth?

·   What top-down approaches do you use?

·   What bottom-up approaches do you use?

·   How long will I need to go to therapy?

·   How would you help me prepare for another birth?

·   Do you work with individuals, couples, families, or all of them?

·   Would you be open to collaborating with my care team?

·   What perinatal mental health training or experience do you have?

·   Do you think another provider would be a better fit based on my needs?

If you or a loved one is experiencing the impacts of a traumatic birth experience, there is help. You are not to blame, you’re doing the best you can, and there is hope. Reach out today and start feeling better. Schedule a free consultation today.

 Learn more about me here. Or check out my specialties: Anxiety, grief, medical trauma, health issues, infertility, pregnancy loss, menopause. Or return back to the blog.