Seattle Anxiety Therapist Shares How to Enjoy the Holidays on Your Terms

Cue music, “it’s the most wonderful time of the year….” Is it for you? For many people the holiday season means more stress, more anxiety, more expectations and obligations. It can be hard to enjoy this time of year with increased levels of anxiety. The holidays can highlight issues that may have been put on the back burner during other times of the year. It doesn’t have to be this way! If you know the holidays tend to be a challenging time for you, let’s make a game plan to tackle common roadblocks.

Image from Unsplash by Denys Nevozhai 11/5/24

Why Do the Holidays Give Me Anxiety?

Let’s address some of the reasons the holidays can increase anxiety:

Social Gatherings

Along with holiday celebrations come an increase in parties and social gatherings. If you’re someone with a low social battery this can be challenging. If you experience social anxiety this can be a major dread trigger.

Increase in Expectations and Commitments

The holidays often bring a busy schedule along with them. Families, communities, schools, churches all carry their own commitments and expectations for engagement. Family expectations about participation or engagement in traditions can loom large.

Boundary Setting

If you struggle with people pleasing tendencies, this time of year can be a struggle. The holiday season calls for an increase in you being able to set boundaries to have the kind of season you’ll enjoy. Setting and sticking to boundaries doesn’t always please others.

Travel

Traveling during the holiday season is stressful as millions of other people are traveling too! You might not even want to be doing this. If you live in a bigger body, have health issues, travel with kids or other factors, traveling can be a extra challenging experience.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

The holidays happen in the winter during times of less sun. You might be one of the many people whose mood is negatively impacted by the lack of sunlight.

Increased Triggers (grief, trauma, family history)

The holidays can bring up pain from the past. Whether it brings up grief related to a loss, a previous trauma, or exposure to challenging situations, this time of year can carry emotional landmines ready to send you into a spiral.

How To Deal with Holiday Anxiety

Image from Pexels by Fauxels 11/5/24

I want you to enjoy the holidays and have it be a time of year where you can express yourself and what’s important to you. It doesn’t have to look any specific way other than what you want. Sacrificing your mental wellbeing to please other people is not a long term solution.

·      Identify Your Values

Get clear on what you care about and what matters to you this holiday season. Getting clear on this first will help you make decisions and prioritize actions.

·      Practice Saying ‘No.’

Just because you’re invited to an event doesn’t mean you have to agree. It can be helpful to write out a few different ways to respectfully decline an invitation.

·      Choose Your Traditions

After you’ve gotten clear on your values, it will be easier to decide what if any traditions you want to engage in over the holiday season. This will also help determine what travel or social arrangements you need to make.

·      Know You Aren’t Alone

Many people feel anxiety over the holidays so find at least one trusted person you can speak with about this and hold each other accountable for prioritizing your mental health.

·      Practice Handling Triggers

Whether you struggle seeing kids as you deal with infertility, a family member comments on body changes, or people ask you questions about your chronic illness, it can be helpful to be mindful of what might be triggering for you. Once you’ve identified this, practice a few responses that you feel good about and are congruent with how you’d like to engage.

·      Set Boundaries

Image from Unsplash by Pierre Bamin 11/5/24

Related to handling your triggers, it’s okay to set and maintain boundaries that are going to support your wellbeing. This might mean declining participation at a friend of family member’s house, being clear what you will or won’t discuss, or exiting a situation if it’s not good for you. You have permission to do what is best for you.

·      Get Light

If you struggle with SAD—seasonal affective disorder or generally low you tend to have a lower mood in the winter, talk to your doctor and consider looking into getting a SAD light or dawn simulator. If things get worse, you might consider a medication intervention.

Reach Out to a Seattle Anxiety Therapist

This year the holidays don’t have to be something you dread. If you’re sick of anxiety calling the shots, schedule a free consultation today and we can start putting you back in the driver seat of your life.

About the Author: Seattle Therapist Chelsea Kramer LMFT

Chelsea Kramer is a Seattle Therapist who works with individual and families facing grief, anxiety and trauma, with special focus on medical challenges, reproductive health, and life transitions.

Learn more about Chelsea’s specialties: grief, anxiety, infertility, pregnancy loss, chronic illness, menopause, medical trauma

Learn more about Chelsea

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