Navigating Toxic Positivity: Grief Counseling Strategies in Seattle

You’ve experienced a loss or change in your life. You’re processing your emotions and the real life impacts of the loss, the last thing you need to deal with it unhelpful bumper sticker comments from other people in the form of toxic positivity.

Toxic positivity can come in many forms. It’s often well-intentioned but shows up as unhelpful comments such as, ‘god doesn’t give you more than you can handle’ or ‘everything happens for a reason’ or how about ‘pain is just weakness leaving the body.’ It’s even more challenging when the change or challenge is visible and people comment on what they see. These comments are born out of a specific kind of way our culture views suffering, grief, and trauma.

Here are some ways you can deal with toxic positivity from other people.

1.     It’s helpful to remember that people often respond in toxic positive ways out of their own discomfort. Our society doesn’t actively talk about grief, loss or trauma in ways that normalize such conversations. So it’s important to remember, peoples’ dumb comments are more a reflection of their own discomfort than anything about you.

2.     It can also be helpful to think about ahead of time how you might want to respond to certain comments. If you know people are going to make comments, be prepared. Do you want to make them uncomfortable? Do you want to educate them? There’s no wrong answer, it’s about how you want to handle the situation. Here’s an example: “Actually Mary, the reality is what I’m going through is alot to handle, and here are some ways you could really help me…”

3.     Say what you need or want instead of what you don’t want. People generally want to be kind and helpful, but like I said before, our culture doesn’t really teach how to appropriately respond to grief. Whether you address the initial comment or not, tell the person how they can be helpful. Folks will generally feel relief from such directness.

What are ways you’ve dealt with toxic positivity before?

If you are looking for ways to process grief, build acceptance, and navigate relationships with ease, reach out today for a free consultation. You don’t have to face this alone. I offer my clients a compassionate, grounded, realistic approach to healing. If you want to learn more about my specialties, they include infertility, pregnancy loss, medical trauma, health issues, anxiety, and grief.

Check out my other blogs on grief:

Strength in Surrender: Grief Counseling in Seattle for Embracing Acceptance

Seattle Grief Counseling: Validating Your Experience with Chronic Illness

Navigating Adversity: Grief Counseling in Seattle for Coping with Medical Gaslighting

Finding Home: Grief Counseling in Seattle for Embracing Your True Family

Strength in Adversity: Grief Counseling in Seattle for Embracing Resilience

Thawing the Freeze: Grief Counseling Strategies for Building Community in Seattle

Navigating Retirement Grief: Expert Grief Counseling in Seattle